Dear Sienna
by unGratefulNobody
Summary: After only 2 years, despite things going alright, Pearl ends up coming to terms with the toxic reasons she was attracted to the mystery girl in the first place. She can't bear to face her in person for this, and instead writes a letter to her-explaining why she just can't do it anymore. (So in this S's name is Sienna)


Pearl rummaged through one of the drawers in the beach house kitchen before she found what she was looking for-a pen. She picked it up and began to write what should've been written two years ago.

 _ **Dear my Sienna,**_

 _ **It breaks my heart to say this but I simply can't carry on with you. I can't pretend everything is okay because...it's not. I wish I loved** **you the way you want me to, because that's what you deserve. I'm hurting you and you don't even know it. I saw you in the crowd and** **my heart fluttered. You looked so much like her. I thought, 'maybe this is my chance to redeem myself to her' 'maybe this time she won't be** **taken away from me by someone else'. But you're not her. And it's selfish of me, to want you purely to satisfy my own self doubt and to satisfy** **all my own regrets and "should haves". What I'm trying to say is, I know you pretend I don't think this way but we both know I do.** **And I'm really sorry Sienna.**_

Loving you isn't the right thing to do  
How can I ever change things that I feel?  
If I could maybe I'd give you my world  
How can I when you won't take it from me?

You can go your own way (go your own way)  
You can call it another lonely day

 _ **All those times of us being entangled together in your bed, our breathing slowly syncing up like the whole universe was leading**_  
 _ **us to that moment, don't think I've forgotten the hurt in your eyes every time when I've accidentally called you by her name. "Rose..." I ****whisper into your shoulder. You muffle the sound of your tears in your pillow and pull me closer, pretending you hear nothing. But I remember** **every time. You look so much like her...but you deserve so much more than her. You're perfect, and I'm far from it.**_

 _You can go your own way (go your own way)_

 _ **You, Sienna, you deserve more from me than simply being Rose's legacy and my last chance. You deserved to be seen for you, you deserve** **someone who's favorite color is pink because it looks amazing on you, not because you remind them of their past. Your eyes sparkled because ****you were intrigued by me and my confidence in just strolling up to you, because you also remembered you recognized me from earlier, when I was** **running from the cops. Mine sparkled because again, the first thing I thought was 'Rose is flirting with me back.' You don't deserve that.**_

Tell me why everything turned around  
Packing up shacking up's all you wanna do  
If I could baby I'd give you my world  
Open up everything's waiting for you

 _ **Tell me why you think so highly of me when you know I just can't stop thinking of her. Tell me why you always pretend not to hear her name** **in our most intimate moments instead of calling me out on my shit. Tell me why You act like you don't deserve better. Who hurt you before** **me? I can't do this anymore.**_

You can go your own way (go your own way)

 _ **Whether you feel it hurting or not, I know that's what I'm doing to you. I can't hurt you anymore.**_

You can call it another lonely day

 _ **I'm sorry.**_

You can go your own way (go your own way)

 _ **You deserve more than me.**_

You can go your own way (go your own way)  
You can call it another lonely day  
You can go your own way (go your own way)  
You can go your own way (go your own way)  
You can call it another lonely day  
You can go your own way (go your own way)

 _ **You won't hear from me anymore, don't bother looking for me at the temple, the others know I'm going to disappear for a while.**_

You can go your own way (go your own way)

 _ **Humans live such short lives and they end in the blink of an eye. While I'm gone, go live your life, and don't waste that short time on** **me. I love you, but please forget about me, at least you'll be able to forget about me where I can't forget about her.**_

You can call it another lonely day  
You can go your own way (go your own way)

 _ **Goodbye,**_

 _ **Pearl**_


End file.
